The Holy Babble

Contents

Holy Bible History Lesson
Holy Bible Questionnaire
I'm sorry, which Babble were you referring to?
Holy Bible Red Letter Edition

A very intense, in-depth look at the contradictions of the Holy Bible, Koran and Book of Mormon

Holy Bible History Lesson (back to top)

The Holy Bible was written by about 40 men who engaged in writing it during a period of about 1600 years dating from 1500 B.C. to about 100 years after Christ. These men wrote as they were moved by the 'Holy Spirit' (2 Peter 1:21). They wrote not in words of human wisdom but in words taught by the 'Holy Ghost' (1 Corinthians 2:13).
The first translation of the English Bible was initiated by John Wycliffe and completed by John Purvey in 1388.
The first American edition of the Bible was perhaps published some time before 1752.
The Bible was divided into chapters by Stephen Langton about 1228 A.D.
The Old Testament was divided into verses by R. Nathan in 1448 A.D. and the New Testament by Robert Stephanus in 1551 A.D.
The entire Bible divided into chapters and verses first appeared in the Geneva Bible of 1560.

Holy Bible Red Letter Edition (back to top)

While millions read the Holy Babble daily, few know why some Babble publishers print the supposed words of Christ in red. Mr. William Emmett Shelton, author, of Mogadore, Ohio and Mr. Laurence S. Heely, Jr., publisher of Christian Herald Magazine say that the idea originated with Louis Klopsch, the first editor for the Christian Herald. The November 1901 issue of that monthly ran a large advertisement offering a red letter Babble to the readers. As you could have guessed, it revolves around the almighty dollar.

Mr.. Klopsch was born March 7, 1852 in Germany. In 1853 his mother died. The next year his father, Osmar Klopsch, M.D.., brought him to the United States. Louis studied journalism at what is now Columbia University. He graduated with high honors. He rose from stock boy to editor with religious publishers and by about 1889 he was the owner-editor of the America edition of the Christian Herald Magazine.

He and his father worshipped at Brooklyn Temple, where T. DeWitt Talmadge was the minister. On June 19,1889 Dr. Klopsch was writing an editorial for the Christian Herald when his eyes fell upon Luke 22:20 and the words: "This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you." (Atheist Savior translation: "This cup shall runneth over with the revenue generated off of this idea, which I'll sell to you.")

Dr. Klopsch realized that these were the words of his Savior when he instituted the Lord's Supper. He 'reasoned' that all blood was red. So, he asked himself, "why not a red letter Babble with the red words to be those of our Lord?" Dr. Talmadge, his preacher, encouraged him greatly by saying: "It could do no harm (except you're altering the Holy Babble, again) and it most certainly could do much good (in other words: it will be very profitable)." The editor besought Babble scholars in America and Europe to submit passages they? regarded as spoken by Christ while on earth. How did they determine what was or was not spoken by Christ? Were they moved by the Holy Spirit like the original 40 authors of this book were 2000 plus years ago? Who knows.

None the less, the stage was set. The first printing of a red letter Babble numbered sixty thousand copies. They were conveniently printed on presses owned by Dr. Klopsch, eliminating the need for costly out-sourcing of a second party's printing press. The edition sold quickly. Presses were run day and night to supply the demand. The King of Sweden sent a congratulatory cablegram. The telegram that thrilled publisher Klopsch the most, perhaps, was one from President Theodore Roosevelt. There followed a letter on White House stationery inviting him to dine with the Chief Executive. He accepted.

Dr. Klopsch died March 28, 1910 and was buried at Mont Lawn near Tonawanda, New York.

#	Biblical Passage	Contradicting Passage	Question
1	2 Kings 8:26 says "Two and twenty years old was Ahaziah when he began to reign..."	2 Chronicles 22:2 says "Forty and two years old was Ahaziah when he began to reign..."	How old was Ahaziah: 22 or 42?
2	2 Samuel 6:23 says "Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death"	2 Samuel 21:8 says "But the king took...the five sons of Michal the daughter of Saul"	If Michal had no children in Sam 6:23, how could the king take 5 sons from her in Sam 21?
3	2 Samuel 8:3-4 says "David smote also Hadadezer...and took from him...seven hundred horsemen..."	1 Chronicles 18:3-4 says "David smote Hadarezer...and took from him...seven thousand horsemen..."	Did David take 700 or 7000 horsemen?
4	1 Kings 4:26 says "And Solomon had forty thousand stalls of horses for his chariots..."	2 Chronicles 9:25 says "And Solomon had four thousand stalls for horses and chariots..."	How many stalls did Solomon have: 40,000 or 4000?
5	James 1:13 says "..for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man."	Gen 22:1 says "And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham..."	If God cannot tempt any man, how did he tempt Abraham?
6	Matt 1:16 says, "And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus..."	Luke 3:23 says "And Jesus...the son of Joseph, which was the son of Heli"	Who was Joseph's dad, Jacob or Heli?
7	2 Kings 25:8 says "And in the fifth month, on the seventh day of the month...Nebuzaradan...came...unto Jerusalem"	Jeremiah 52:12 says "...in the fifth month, in the tenth day of the month...came Nebuzaradan...into Jerusalem"	When did Nebuzaradan come into Jerusalem: the seventh day or tenth day of the month?
8	Gen 2:17 says "But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day thou eastest thereof thou shalt surely die [note: it doesn't say 'spiritual' death]	Gen 5:5 says "And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died."	If God says you die on the same day you eat the fruit, how did Adam live 930 years?
9	1 Samuel 31:4-6 says "...Saul took a sword and fell upon it. And when his armourbearer saw that Saul was dead and...died with him. So Saul died..."	2 Samuel 21:12 says "...the Philistines had slain Saul in Gilboa."	If Saul committed suicide, how could the Philistines have slain him in Gilboa?
10	Gen 6:20 says "Of fowls after their kind and of cattle [etc.]...two of every sort shall come unto thee..."	Gen 7:2,3 says "Of every clean beast thou shall take to thee by sevens...Of fowls also of the air by sevens..."	How many fowl were taken aboard: 2 or 7 of every kind?
11	Luke23:46: "And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost."	John 19:30 "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost."	How many times did Jesus give up the ghost?
12	Gen 32:30 states "...for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved."	John 1:18 states, "No man hath seen God at any time..."	Which is it?
13	Jonah 1:17 says, "...Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights"	Matt 12:40 says "...Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly..."	Whales and fish are not related.
14	2 Samuel 24:9 says, "And Joab gave up the sum of the number of the people unto the king: and there were in Israel eight hundred thousand valiant men that drew the sword; and the men of Judah were five hundred thousand men."	1 Chronicles 21:5 says, "And Joab gave the sum of the number of the people unto David. And all they of Israel were a thousand thousand and an hundred thousand men that drew sword: and Judah was four hundred threescore and ten thousand men that drew sword."	Were there 800,000 or 1,100,000 men in Israel? Were there 500,000 or 470,000 men in Judah?
15	Genesis 14:12 says, "And they took Lot, Abram's brother's son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed."	Genesis 14:14 says, "And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued them unto Dan."	Was Lot Abraham's nephew or his brother?
16	1 Kings 7:26 says, "And it was an hand breadth thick, and the brim thereof was wrought like the brim of a cup, with flowers of lilies: it contained two thousand baths."	2 Chronicles 4:5 says, "And the thickness of it was an handbreadth, and the brim of it like the work of the brim of a cup, with flowers of lilies; and it received and held three thousand baths."	How many baths did the molten sea contain, 2,000 or 3,000?
17	2 Kings 23:29-30 says, "In his days Pharaohnechoh king of Egypt went up against the king of Assyria to the river Euphrates: and king Josiah went against him; and he slew him at Megiddo, when he had seen him. 30And his servants carried him in a chariot dead from Megiddo, and brought him to Jerusalem, and buried him in his own sepulchre. And the people of the land took Jehoahaz the son of Josiah, and anointed him, and made him king in his father's stead."	2 Chronicles 35:24 says, "His servants therefore took him out of that chariot, and put him in the second chariot that he had; and they brought him to Jerusalem, and he died, and was buried in one of the sepulchres of his fathers. And all Judah and Jerusalem mourned for Josiah."	Did Josiah die at Megiddo or Jerusalem?

#	What God/Jesus Says	What Scientists Say	Question?
18	Matt 4:8: " Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them."	Unless the world is flat, altitude simply will not help you see all the kingdoms of the earth.	Even with the most powerful telescope, how can a man standing at the summit of Kilimanjaro, in Africa see someone atop the Empire State Building in New York City?
19	Matt 13:31-32: "the kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof."	While the mustard seed is about 1/20th of an inch in size, with the smaller petunia seed about 1/50th of an inch and the yet smaller begonia some 1/100th of an inch in size, the even yet smaller orchid seed is so tiny that a 10 to 30 power microscope is required for the eye to see it in any detail. Though it could grow to a height of six feet or more, a mature mustard plant would not normally be described as a "tree." Usually it was described as a shrub or bush.	If God created everything, how could he not know what the smallest seed is and what it grows into? Since the mustard seed isn't the smallest of all seeds then Jesus was wrong, and if Jesus was God and made everything, He should have known that the mustard seed is not the smallest seed!
20	Lev 11:6: "And the hare, because he cheweth the cud..."	Hare do not chew the cud.	Did hares chew their cud 2000 years ago? And if so, why don't they now?
21	Deut 14:7: " "...as the camel, and the hare, and the coney: for they chew the cud, but divide not the hoof."	Hare don’t chew the cud and they do divide the "hoof."	Did hares have hooves 2000 years ago and if so, what happened to this hoofed, cud chewin' varmint? Click the 'hare' for exclusive New York Times story
22	Lev 11:20-21: "All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you."	Fowl do not go upon all four.	What birds walked on all four and where is this species today?
23	1 Kings 7:23 "He made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, and his height was five cubits: and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about."	Circumference = x Diameter Diameter = 10 cubits Circumference = 30 cubits = 3.141592653589793238 Either the Circumference is wrong (31.14159265 cubits instead of 30 cubits) or the diameter is wrong (9.549296 cubits instead of 10).
23			How can Mr. Know-It-All be so wrong with this elementary math problem?

#	Passage or Passages	The Atheist Savior's Question
24	Leviticus Chapter 15 - Discharges Causing Uncleanness	This entire chapter is devoted to the uncleanness of bodily discharge, in other words, a man's semen or ejaculate and a woman's bloody period. My question is, 'Why devote an entire chapter of 'The Greatest Book Ever Written" on these topics? Can you conclude that a woman is cleaner if she swallows a man's discharge than if she allows it to touch her skin?
25	Matthew 5:31 (NIV) says, "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'"	Even I have been to enough weddings to realize that a marriage is a contract between the bride, groom and Jesus Christ/God. I understand why humans divorce regardless of this contract, but why would the Holy Babble say it's ok?
26	Matthew 7:17-19 (NIV) says, "Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire."	Is this an analogy suggesting that an atheist or nonbeliever cannot bear good children? As a father of two, I have vesting interest in this verse. Perhaps I'm looking into it too deeply. Maybe it's just Jesus showing his horticulture side.
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I'm sorry, which Babble were you referring to?
Just as confused as I get when individuals refer to God (click here and you'll see why), I get just as flustered when they refer to the Holy Babble. Here are a few in English that are all different, yet claim to be 'Holy'. Gee, and I always thought you only needed one book in this Christian world to survive. At least that's what every minister tells me.
American Standard Version	Holman Christian Standard Bible
Amplified Bible	21st Century King James Version
Contemporary English Version	New International Reader's Version
Darby Translation	New American Standard Bible
Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition	King James Version
English Standard Version	New International Version
New International Version - UK	New King James Version
New Life Version	New Living Translation
The Message	Worldwide English (New Testament)
Wycliffe New Testament	Young's Literal Translation

	The Holy Babble
	Atheist Savior Revised Edition®