Letters to the Editors (back to contents)

To: CinWeekly, sent December 14, 2005

Where's Christ this Christmas??

Who cares! Being of the atheist/secular/non-Christian persuasion I am sick of all the Christians crying about Christ not being in Christmas. Most have no idea that our Christmas traditions (e.x. exchanging gifts and cards, decorating trees, hanging mistletoe) originated from pagan rituals in the first place. Christmas to a Christian should be about one thing: celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. How do Wal-Mart and Target ads, TV commercials, Happy Holiday signs and whatever else their crying about have anything to do with Jesus Christ's birthday? How many birthday parties have you been to where gifts are bought for everyone BUT the one who's birthday you're celebrating in the first place? Other than perhaps gold, I'm pretty sure frankincense and myrrh sales aren't exactly skyrocketing this time of year.

Christmas is a festive time of the year for EVERYONE to celebrate. It’s about being together with friends and family, making wish lists, showing more compassion for your fellow man and, incidentally, a huge financial boost to this country’s economy. Like it or not, Christmas is what it is today because of the actions of this 80% Christian nation of ours.

Listen up Christians. Christianity is about excepting Jesus Christ into your heart. It’s about having a loving, PERSONAL relationship with Jesus Christ. Christ can be taken out of anything, anywhere, anytime EXCEPT the one place it counts, your heart. So I ask you: How can the public’s secularization of Christmas have any effect on your PERSONAL relationship with Jesus? Is your relationship with Christ so shallow that you feel a Holiday Sale on Holiday Trees at Wal-Mart is somehow going to condemn you to ‘hell’?

If you’re a Christian and you feel that Jesus isn’t getting enough air-time this season, or perhaps you’re offended by your place of work having a ‘Holiday Party’, then I have this to say to you: Try putting Christ back into your hearts instead of Christmas.

Merry Christmas,

ScoT, the friendly, neighborhood atheist

Math behind prayer (back to contents)
Prayer is directly proportional to the odds of the event you're praying for happening. For example, the odds of rolling a 2 on six sided die is 1:6. The odds of being dealt a royal flush out of one deck of cards is 1:311,875,200. The odds of winning a Mega Millions jackpot is 1:175,711,536. No matter how much you pray, THESE ODDS WILL NOT CHANGE. As a former resident of Las Vegas, Nevada, I can assure you if praying had a direct impact on betting, it would be addressed. Whether or not a prayer is successful, or excuses why it wasn't, are all justifications in the minds of the vulnerable individuals doing the praying. So, if at all possible, check the odds or probability of what it is you are praying for happening, then decide to pray, take action or deal with your grief in another manner.
TAKE THE 'PRAYER VS. ODDS' CHALLENGE
	VS.
If anyone can prove to me that by praying they can significantly alter the odds of an event happening, I will personally buy lottery tickets for them for the rest of their life. To accomplish this you must : 1. Have a higher success rate than me predicting what card will be pulled out of a 52 card deck. 2. Have a higher success rate than me predicting what number will be rolled on a 6 sided die. 3. Have a higher success rate than me predicting the outcome of the 2006 World Series. (bookies excluded).
Contact me if interested in taking this challenge .

(Click Here for Complete Article)	My Synopsis
A woman whose mummified body was dressed in a white gown and placed in front of a television for 2½ years died from heart disease.	If she was watching Jerry Foulwell, Billy Graham, Jimmy Swaggart, Schuler or any of those other blowhards, after 2 1/2 years, could she have come back to life? Better question, would she have wanted to?
Hamilton County Coroner Dr. O'dell Owens said Tuesday he will rule that her death was the result of cardiovascular disease. Officials never suspected abuse or foul play after finding Johannas Pope, 61, in her Madisonville home Jan. 4.	Perhaps there was no foul play in her death, but there must be a crime in screwing up the Nielson ratings with a dead person in front of the tube for 2 1/2 years.
Pope told her caretaker, Kathy Painter, she didn't want to be buried because she believed she would come back to life.	Old people sometimes say the craziest shit. The purpose of a good caretaker is the ability separate the bullshit from reality. I wonder what this Kathy Painter would have done if Pope told her to push her out of the window because she believes she can fly?
Officials knew Pope had been dead for a while. Some police wore oxygen masks in the house because of the odor. Almost a week after the remains were found, Owens pegged her death as Aug. 29, 2003. Painter left Pope's body in a chair in an air-conditioned room on the second floor of their Davies Place home.	I've been in enough nursing homes to know how bad old people can smell, and that's when they're alive!! I would only enter that house if I had a 200 lb. moth ball strapped to my chest.
Investigators learned that Painter took care of Pope's body - trying to preserve it.	How thoughtful.
Owens said Painter put on gloves and removed the maggots from Pope's body daily.	Now, at this point, would you really want to come back to life? Furthermore, any nurses aids out there who bitch and moan about giving sponge baths can shut the hell up!!
He said she used bug spray when they became too numerous to remove by hand. Investigators found 17 cans of bug spray in the house, he said.	17 cans times $4.59/can = $78.03 (Still more cost effective than 2 1/2 years of Medicare.
"She really took care of (the body)," Owens said. Painter even bought Pope new clothes just before officials discovered her body. "She bought new clothes because she thought this was the time period she was coming back," Owens said.	I guess at this point, wearing her birthday suit for her 'second birth at life' would have been too revolting, even for Ms. Painter.
Attorney Leslie Isaiah Gaines, who is serving as a family spokesman, said he does not think any crimes were committed. "The family has been in a grieving process," he said.	Grieving? At the least. I remember as a child being upset at having to clean my room. I can only imagine my mom saying, "Go upstairs and watch TV with your grandmother" or "you can go play once you pick some more maggots off grandma."

In my words (audio clip from 700 WLW)

I will conducting a survey on the churches asking if they feel they should be tax-exempt. If they say yes, I will ask why they feel that way. If they say no, then they will be given the opportunity to sign a petition to remove churches across America from the tax-exempt shelter they so comfortably nest under.

Email I sent to www.FairTax.org

Date:	Fri, 14 Apr 2006 11:21:47 -0500
From:	ScoT The Atheist Savior <scot@atheistsavior.com>
To:	"info@fairtax.org" <info@fairtax.org>
Subject:	Churches paying taxes

To Whom It Concerns:

I am an atheist and are wondering what someone like me can do to reverse the tax-exempt status
for churches. It really bothers me that Federal, State and Local tax dollars are contributing
to an entity that encourages individuals to look into the sky for the answers to their and the
world's problems.
Thank you and God Less,
ScoT The Atheist Savior

-------------------------------------------------
This mail sent through IMP: http://horde.org/imp/

Mary Winkler, 32, was arrested on murder charges and confessed to the slaying after fleeing to Alabama in the family’s minivan with the couple’s three young daughters, authorities said.

My sources indicate she fled in a Christler JehoVan. This righteous ride was a limited production model with seating for the driver and up to 12 disciples or children, if you're Catholic.

Her husband of 10 years, Matthew Winkler, a popular and charismatic 31-year-old preacher at a fundamentalist Christian church, was found dead in a bedroom at the couple’s home Wednesday night in Selmer, a town of about 4,600 in western Tennessee.

*Match the corresponding colors on the right for insight analysis*

(31 year old) - (husband of 10 years)= married at the tender age of 21. Banging the same shit for ten years.
popular and charismatic = ladies love him
preacher = Has a PhD in Bullshit; able to sweet talk anyone.
fundamentalist Christian church = The most gullible sheeple on the planet. Nice flock of screw balls for Rev. Winkler to choose from..
found dead in a bedroom = 'dead, bedroom' : see #1 for this seemingly subliminal message.
town of about 4,600 in western Tennessee = Small town in backwoods Tennessee. It was only a matter of time before the whackie DNA surfaced after decades of incestual crossbreeding amongst themselves.

Who the fuck didn't see this coming?!

Judy Woodlee, a member of a church in McMinnville where Matthew Winkler had been a youth minister before moving to Selmer, said Mary Winkler’s arrest was a shock. “They were a good Christian family. They always seemed happy,” she said.

Apparently they WEREN'T a good Christian family you moron. Something set this woman off. Once again, the Christian God chooses not to step in and prevent this. Now three children have to start their young lives off with tragedy and misery. Way to go God!!
"...seemed happy". The keyword here is seemed. When dealing with religion, the word 'seem' is used quite often.
Definition of seem (sēm)
intr.v., seemed, seem·ing, seems.
1. To give the impression of being; appear: The child seems healthy, but the doctor is concerned.
2. To appear to one's own opinion or mind: I can't seem to get the story straight.
3. To appear to be true, probable, or evident: It seems you object to the plan. It seems like rain. He seems to have worked in sales for several years.
4. To appear to exist: There seems no reason to postpone it.

Mary Winkler, who stands 5-foot-3 and weighs 120 pounds, was led into the hearing but did not respond to questions from reporters.

120 lbs.?? Looks more like 320 lbs. I've heard horizontal jailhouse pinstripes do add a few pounds to you on camera.

Church members found the body
Members of the Fourth Street Church of Christ found Matthew Winkler’s body after he missed a Wednesday evening service. The slaying of the third-generation minister shocked those who knew him.

Three generations of kissing God's ass and the almighty above won't give this guy a break. With three daughters and no sons, the hopes of a 4th generation look slim, unless they convert to a more liberal congregation.

Winkler was hired at the 200-member church in February 2005. The congregation quickly came to love his by-the-book sermons, said Wilburn Ash, an elder.

Here's a 'by-the-book sermon' for ya:

Deuteronomy (King James Version)

21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

21:19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

21:21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

21:22 And if a man have committed a sin worthy of death, and he be to be put to death, and thou hang him on a tree:

21:23 His body shall not remain all night upon the tree, but thou shalt in any wise bury him that day; (for he that is hanged is accursed of God;) that thy land be not defiled, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

I wonder how many children these by-the-book believers have stoned to death. My guess is the word of the Tennessee State Penal Code is more powerful than the word of their God.

Church members also took to his wife, whom they described as a quiet, unassuming woman who was a substitute teacher at an elementary school.

Completely contradicting personality with her former spouse, described as 'popular and charismatic.' Dr. Phil would have never fixed these two up.

Mary and Matthew Winkler were married in 1996. They had met at Freed-Hardeman University, a Church of Christ-affiliated school in Henderson where Matthew’s father was an adjunct professor. Mary took education classes, and Matthew took Bible classes. Neither graduated.

Notice these are stated separate: EDUCATION CLASSES vs. BIBLE CLASSES. Not to be confused in any way, shape or form. Just out of curiosity, if you graduate Summa Cum Laude from Bible classes, does that make you a God?

Churches of Christ do not consider themselves a denomination since every congregation is independently governed by a group of church elders. They generally believe the Bible should be interpreted literally and that baptism is essential for salvation. The church is also noted for its prohibition on using musical instruments during services.

Although they are partial to $20's in the collection basket.
Kinda like a McDonald's franchise.
So long as it's convenient for them.
What if someone has a skin allergy towards H20? Off to hell for you! Thanks for playin'!
Although Pastor Winkler was known to play a mean skin-flute when he's not on the clock.

Headline Story (link to story)	My comments
	AS Atheist Savior
Updated: 1:43 p.m. ET June 6, 2006	Updated: 12:19 p.m. ET August 18, 2006
KIEV, Ukraine - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in the Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said Monday.	Let me think here. Ummmmmmmmm,,,,,, DUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! This guy was definitely missing a view pieces to his puzzle.
"Haahaahaaahaahaaa!!!! This necklace get's 'em every time. Are you hungry, Nora? I just saw a bus-load of Mormon's pull up."
“The man shouted, ‘God will save me, if he exists,’ lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.	You know, I really have to hand it to this guy. When do you ever see such devotion in a God like that in this country? You would never see the Sunday morning, arm-chair Jesusbacks in this country test their faith like that. Oh sure, we have our fair share of sheeple. But if a 'leap of faith' happens to cross paths with that nagging thing called reality, they shut the fuck up and sit back down.
“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”	God missed yet another opportunity to show his divine intervention power. All it took was one little miracle to save this disturbed man's life and the whole world could have been convinced of his power. Like the man said, 'God will save me, IF he exists.'
The incident on Sunday evening, when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.	The incident proved to be such an attraction that the producers of Survivor have teamed up with Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Circus to bring what promises to be 'The Greatest Show On Earth.' This fall, *'Survivor, Faith Island: Does Your God Exist'* will make it's debut. Contestants who have enough faith that their personal God will save them from a cage of lions will battle it out. The winner, obviously, is the one who survives.

Headline Story (link to story)	My comments
	AS Atheist Savior
Updated: 2:14 p.m. ET Aug 18, 2006	Updated: 2:14 p.m. ET Aug 18, 2006
FOUNTAIN VALLEY, Calif. - As a chocolatier to the rich and famous, Martucci Angiano has posed with many celebrities — but on Thursday she held in her hand a figure that dazzles her more than any Hollywood star. Workers at Angiano's gourmet chocolate company, Bodega Chocolates, discovered under a vat a 2-inch-tall column of chocolate drippings that they believe bears a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary.	This isn't the first time this has happened. A similar event happened to Mary Lou Jeebus a few years ago (seen on the right). Mary Lou was taking a shit when she forgot to put her bed pan in the bottom of her portable toilet. When she went to wipe her ass, she noticed the turd was a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary. The 2-inch-tall chocolate Mary has sparked memories for Ms. Jeebus. "I remember that shit like it was yesterday," Ms. Jeebus recalled. "Normally my bowel movements have a slight sting, but this one was actually pleasant."
Since the discovery Monday, Angiano's employees have spent much of their time hovering over the tiny figure, praying and placing rose petals and candles around it.	These people are goddamn lucky I don't own that factory. I'd fire every last one of them. These naive fuck-offs will look for anything to get them out of a few hours work.
"I was raised to believe in the Virgin Mary, but this still gives me the chills," Angiano said as she balanced the dark brown figure in her hand. "Everyone should see this."	So it's not all her fault. It's her parents and her society that share the blame.
Kitchen worker Cruz Jacinto was the first to spot the lump of melted chocolate when she began her shift Monday cleaning up drippings that had accumulated under a large vat of dark chocolate.	Ms. Jacinto used to work at a chicken factory cleaning up the chicken shit under the coops so she had plenty of experience in this area.
Chocolate drippings usually harden in thin, flat strips on wax paper, but Jacinto said she froze when she noticed the unusual shape of this cast-off: It looked just like the Virgin Mary on the prayer card she always carries in her right pocket.	They failed to mention the fifth of Jack Daniel's she always carries in her left pocket. This would help explain things.
‘My eyes went directly to the chocolate’ "When I come in, the first thing I do is look at the clock, but this time I didn't look at the clock. My eyes went directly to the chocolate," said Jacinto, dressed in a hair net and apron as she paused from her work. "I thought, 'Am I the only one who can see this? I picked it up and I felt emotion just come over me. For me, it was a sign."	There's a reason her eyes went directly to the chocolate, and it ain't holy. It's called hunger.
The chocolate, on display for most of the week in the front of the company gift shop, now rests in a plastic case in a back room and is brought out only for curious visitors.	Can someone spell

The stack of hardened confection has a wide base and tapers gently toward a rounded top, giving the appearance of a female figure with her head tilted slightly to the right. The dark brown melting chocolate hardened into subtle layers that resemble the folds of a gown and a flowing veil.

Cruz Jacinto, an employee at Bodega Chocolates, holds a piece of chocolate believed to bear the likeness of the Virgin Mary and the prayer card she carries with a portrait of the Virgin Mary in Fountain Valley on Thursday.

To me, that lump of chocolate has more resemblance to a Northern Spotted Owl or a Peregrine Falcon than 'the Virgin Mary'. You be the judge. Move your mouse over each image and see if you can spot the Holy Virgin.

A tiny white circle, about the size of a pencil eraser, sits in the upper center of the creation, just above a slight ridge that runs across it. Cruz says the white speck is the head of the Baby Jesus as he is held in Mary's folded arms.

Upon closer inspection, the white speck is actually Cruz's molar that fell out of her mouth. A better dental plan could have prevented all of this from happening.

For Jacinto, the discovery came just in time. The single mother has struggled with marital problems for months and says she was about to lose her faith.

How can you have 'marital problems' if you're single? Furthermore, when humans get depressed and down, their rational-thinking-mode seems to wander and except the craziest shit as truth.

‘This has given me renewed faith’
"I have big problems right now, personally, and lately I've been saying that God doesn't exist," she said, pulling the dog-eared prayer card out of her pocket. "This has given me renewed faith."

So, the 'Greatest Book Ever Written' (a.k.a. The Holy Bible), churches, ministers, Jesus' love, etc... All of these tools your God gave you weren't good enough for you. You needed a hunk of chocolate to find Christ. Great. I'm sure Jesus would love that.

The gourmet boutique runs booths at all the big awards shows, including the Emmys, the Golden Globes, the Oscars, the Country Music Awards and the Latin Grammys. Pictures of Angiano with top celebrities — and her chocolates — line the office walls. But this week's brush with the image of a 2,000-year-old idol has left even Angiano star-struck.

Bullshit, horseshit, monkey-shit, goose-shit, dog-shit, human-shit. That sums it all up.

"That's our Oscar right there," she said.

And the 2006 Oscar Award for 'The Slut That Never Was' goes to: The Virgin Mary

After seven months of a difficult pregnancy, Laura Turner looked anxiously at the latest ultrasound picture of her unborn son.

She was reassured to see not just the baby sucking his thumb - but what she believes is an image of Jesus watching over him.

The 20-year-old nursery nurse was so amazed that she decided to give her son the Biblical name Joshua.

'I just couldn't believe my eyes,' she said at her home in Studley, Warwickshire. 'My partner and I had already been for four or five scans because my baby has a cleft lip, and it was another routine check-up to make sure that everything was okay.

'We had already found out that we were expecting a boy at an earlier scan so when we went to the hospital we weren't anticipating any more surprises. How wrong we were.

'It wasn't until we got home and a friend pointed out that it looked like there was someone else in the picture with our baby that we realiZed.

'I nearly fainted. We were just happy that we had managed to get a picture of Joshua sucking his thumb.

'To see what looks like Jesus in a shroud was unbelievable. It still

hasn't sunk in. It's kind of spooky but also beautiful and we will always treasure it.'

Miss Turner said she and her partner David Meikle, a 31-year-old removals man, had endured weeks of uncertainty after doctors told them that the baby, their first, might be born with Down's syndrome.

'The pregnancy has been fairly difficult so to see a likeness of Jesus in the picture gives me a lot of comfort.

'It's as if someone is watching over Joshua. It's helped make us feel more at ease and although I'm not very religious, seeing the picture does reassure me that things are going to turn out okay and that Joshua will be our little miracle.'

A steady stream of believers are flocking to a road underpass in Chicago to see a yellow and white stain on a concrete wall that some believe is an image of the Virgin Mary.

Police are patrolling the area under the Kennedy Expressway as hundreds of curious people have walked down to see the image and the growing memorial of flowers and candles that surround it.

Beside the image is an artist's rendering of the Virgin Mary embracing Pope John Paul II in a pose some see echoed in the stain.

The stain is likely the result of salt run-off, according to the Illinois Department of Transportation. The agency does not plan to scrub it off the wall.

"We're treating this just like we treat any type of roadside memorial," said IDOT spokesman Mike Claffey. "We have no plans to clean this site."

Worldwide, people have been drawn to images believed to resemble the Virgin Mary seen on windows, fence posts and walls.

Among the best-known in the United States was an image seen in office windows in Clearwater, Florida. Within weeks, a half million people had been to the site. Glass experts believe the image was created by a chemical reaction and corrosion of the metallic elements in the glass coating, but they could not explain why it took the shape it did. The windows were broken last year.

First an image of the Virgin Mary appeared in a grilled cheese sandwich in Florida. Next the face of Christ was discovered on a Hawthorn tree in Kent... Now it seems even a pet alligator has God in its side - quite literally.

Owner, Michael Wilk from Wisconsin, was astonished when he noticed distinct white markings pop out against a backdrop of black scales on the side of his four-feet long pet alligator's side, spelling the word GOD.

"When I first saw it, my jaw dropped," Wilk told the Chicago Tribune. "It's just sort of like a phenomenon."

The 25-year-old said he acquired the pet last December from a man who could no longer care for the 12-year-old creature.

He didn't notice the markings straightaway, but several months later they "just jumped out" at him whilst having a few beers with friends.

Not a hoax

"I was thinking when the guy gave him to us that he was trying to hoax us," said Wilk. "But it's real."

Alligators have naturally occurring striped patterns on their skin that help camouflage them in the wild. Experts say the markings on Wilk's alligator appear to be genuine.

Harry Dutton, an alligator biologist with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, told the Chicago Tribune: "The markings appear to be legitimate."

He added that they would probably fade over time.

A small piece of cloth bearing an eerily detailed image of a bearded man with a bruised face is to be the subject of a papal pilgrimage next week.

Pope Benedict XVI will journey to a remote monastery in the Abruzzo region east of Rome next Friday to visit the mysterious icon, said to show the face of Christ.

Known by locals as Veronica's Veil, the cloth, measuring 9 1/2 in by 6 1/2 in, is said to have been used by St Veronica to wipe Jesus's brow on his walk to the cross. It later assumed Jesus's image, showing a man, eyes open, with a beard and a moustache.

The history of the icon is sketchy. Nothing is known of its whereabouts after Christ's crucifixion, but it is said to have been taken to Rome in 1297. Locals in the remote town of Manoppello in Abruzzo maintain the icon was brought to them 500 years ago by a wandering pilgrim.

Monastery

It now resides in the town's monastery, where it is stretched between two panes of glass in a golden frame. The image clearly shows the face of a Christ-like figure. When held up against daylight, however, the image on the veil disappears.

In recent months, Veronica's Veil has been the subject of an influx of tourists from Rome, keen to see what they view as a 'holy relic'. The Vatican has stressed, however, that the Pope's visit does not mean he is officially endorsing the veil.

In 1999, scientists from Bari University in southern Italy reported that the image had not been painted or embossed on the veil in any way that could be explained.

Holy toast! Sandwich sells for $28,000

An online casino has won the eBay bidding for a decade-old cheese sandwich bearing what some people consider a likeness of the Virgin Mary - and immediately began hawking Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese T-shirts.

GoldenPalace.com's bid of $28,000 was the highest offer for the sandwich when bidding closed late on Monday, the Internet casino's website said.

The seller, Fort Lauderdale, Florida resident Diana Duyser, says she made the cheese sandwich 10 years ago and after taking a bite, saw "the Virgin Mary staring back at me."

In her eBay ad, Duyser said the sandwich has been kept in a plastic case for a decade and has developed no mold or bacteria. "It is like a miracle," she said.

Solemn belief

"I would like all people to know that I do believe that this is the Virgin Mary Mother Of God," the ad said. "That is my solemn belief, but you are free to believe that she is whomever you like, I am not scamming anyone."

GoldenPalace.com said on its website that the "sacred sandwich" had received more than 1.7 million hits since being posted on eBay. The company's chief executive, Richard Rowe, said the sandwich would be used to raise money for charity.

The T-shirts, in various styles bearing a picture of the sandwich and a GoldenPalace.com logo, sell for $19.99.

"We believe that everyone should be able to see it and learn of its mystical power for themselves," Rowe said.

Daphne woman hit by lightning while praying for family in storm

DAPHNE, Ala. - Worried about the safety of her family during a stormy Memorial Day trip to the beach, Clara Jean Brown stood in her kitchen and prayed for their safe return as a strong thunderstorm raged through Baldwin County.

Suddenly, lightning exploded, blowing through the linoleum and leaving a pockmarked area on the concrete. Brown wound up on the floor, dazed and disoriented by the blast but otherwise uninjured.

"I said, 'Amen,' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire," she said. "I'm blessed to be alive."

Brown, 65, was hit by a bolt of lightning that apparently struck outside and traveled into the house Monday afternoon. She doesn't know how much time passed while she remained disoriented on the floor before Jamie Matthews, her 14-year-old granddaughter, discovered her after returning from the beach.

"I was just standing there when a huge ball of fire engulfed this whole room. I don't remember much after that," Brown said hours later as her family helped clean her home. "Concrete was everywhere."

Brown was at home alone when the storm hit, while her husband, James Brown, was at the store and her son and his family were on their way back from the beach.

James Brown said fire officials told him lightning likely struck across the street from the couple's home and traveled into the house through a water line. The lightning continued into the couple's backyard and ripped open a small trench, James Brown said. Pieces of concrete were scattered throughout the family's kitchen - ruining day-old brownies sitting on the stove.

"Never in my life did I think something like this could happen," James Brown told the Press-Register. "I always thought if you're in a house that you're safe. That's not the case."

Mrs. Brown said paramedics suggested she go to the hospital, but she chose to stay at home with her family.

"I'm blessed. That's the good news," she said.

Eric Esbensen, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Mobile, said dime-sized hail and wind gusts of up to 45 mph were reported in coastal Baldwin County. As much as 3 inches of rain fell in some areas in three hours, he said.

Police: Minister’s wife confesses to killing		My take on the story
		AS Atheist Savior
Updated: 6:33 p.m. ET March 24, 2006 click here for story		Updated August 17, 2006
	SELMER, Tenn. - A minister’s wife was charged Friday with shooting her husband to death in the parsonage in a crime that shocked the congregation and shattered the couple’s happy and loving image.	Finally, a marriage ends the proper way, 'Till death do us part.' What's worse: taking a vow and swearing to God that your marriage will last till one dies or killing your spouse? I think God can cut this lady some slack. She may have broken a Commandment by killing her husband, but at least she kept her commitment and promise to God, unlike the 52% of divorced Christians in this nation.
Mary Winkler

Headline Story (link to story)			My comments
			AS Atheist Savior
By PAUL SIMS Last updated at 08:45am on 23rd August 2006			Updated: 2:14 p.m. ET Aug 18, 2006
			Here we go again... WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHAT JESUS LOOKED LIKE TO MAKE A COMPARISON!!!!! That image looks more like an image of The Virgin Mary than Jesus to me.
ARE YOU	FUCKING	KIDDING ME??

Police: Minister’s wife confesses to killing

And God said: Try staying out of the lion’s den (back to contents)

Workers discover chocolate Virgin Mary

Face of Jesus seen in baby scan

Our Lady of the Underpass

The alligator's skin that spells God

Pope to inspect 'image of Christ' on veil

Holy toast! Sandwich sells for $28,000

Woman hit by lightning while praying

‘I’m blessed. That’s the good news,’ she says

Contents:
Letters to the Editors Pictures with my satire Biblical atrocities Which god were you referring to? Jesus' first music video Mummified woman dies of natural causes Church and Taxes: Like Water and Oil Bumpernuts phone call Mel Gibson And God said: Try staying out of the lion’s den Former Atheist Converted by 'Holy Shits'	QQPP: The world's biggest problem and the solution The math behind successful praying: The math behind the greatest savior ever Balloon Jesus Till Death Due Us Apart, Literally Michelangelo's True Savior Chocolate Virgin Mary


Jehovah's Witnesses click above	Click the nun to hear what she thinks of me.	The amazing Faith Handkerchief

Woman hit by lightning while praying ‘I’m blessed. That’s the good news,’ she says
Updated: 3:27 p.m. ET May 30, 2006
DAPHNE, Ala. - Worried about the safety of her family during a stormy Memorial Day trip to the beach, Clara Jean Brown stood in her kitchen and prayed for their safe return as a strong thunderstorm raged through Baldwin County. Suddenly, lightning exploded, blowing through the linoleum and leaving a pockmarked area on the concrete. Brown wound up on the floor, dazed and disoriented by the blast but otherwise uninjured. "I said, 'Amen,' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire," she said. "I'm blessed to be alive." Brown, 65, was hit by a bolt of lightning that apparently struck outside and traveled into the house Monday afternoon. She doesn't know how much time passed while she remained disoriented on the floor before Jamie Matthews, her 14-year-old granddaughter, discovered her after returning from the beach. "I was just standing there when a huge ball of fire engulfed this whole room. I don't remember much after that," Brown said hours later as her family helped clean her home. "Concrete was everywhere." Brown was at home alone when the storm hit, while her husband, James Brown, was at the store and her son and his family were on their way back from the beach. James Brown said fire officials told him lightning likely struck across the street from the couple's home and traveled into the house through a water line. The lightning continued into the couple's backyard and ripped open a small trench, James Brown said. Pieces of concrete were scattered throughout the family's kitchen — ruining day-old brownies sitting on the stove. "Never in my life did I think something like this could happen," James Brown told the Press-Register in Mobile. "I always thought if you're in a house that you're safe. That's not the case." Mrs. Brown said paramedics suggested she go to the hospital, but she chose to stay at home with her family. "I'm blessed. That's the good news," she said.


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