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The Atheist Savior

Saving souls at the sinners convenience.

The Atheist Savior Presents: 

"The Search for the Holy Male"

Join me on my adventures seeking out the elusive Jesus Christ (a.k.a. the 'Holy Male'). I will be attending a different church in The Greater Cincinnati area every other Sunday. Since 80% of Americans believe in this guy, I figured I must make some effort in trying to 'find' him myself. I have a list of questions and concerns I will be asking the minister, pastor, reverend, etc... of each congregation. With over 1000 churches in the Greater Cincinnati area, it will take me more than 20 years to attend each of them once. Of course, my quest will end once I find Christ. Will I find him?

If you're a minister, pastor, reverend etc... of a local church (Cincinnati, Oh) and would like to invite me to your congregation, please feel free to contact me. If you would like to join me on my quest, click the MeetUp logo:


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"Search for the Holy Male" Crusade

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April 2008  

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Revised: Monday, September 08, 2008 12:11:01 AM -0500 .

 

 

 

 


February 12, 2006  (back to calendar)
First Baptist Church of Amelia Pastor Dr. Rick Kelly
85 West Main Street, Amelia, OH 45102
(513) 753-5761
phone | map 
http://www.fbcamelia.org/

Our first adventure takes us to the First Baptist Church of Amelia. My sister goes to church here so I thought it would be a good place to start since she is so devoted to Christ. The church itself was nice. Plenty of room. The sound system was more than adequate (Bose© makes a great speaker) and they even had a PowerPoint projector which broadcast on the wall. Very cool! Service lasted about 2 hours, kinda lengthy for a first timer, but I did not fall asleep. The members were very friendly (I think I shook about 40 hands). There weren't too many expensive cars in the parking lot which I thought was very Christ-like (WWJD? -What Would Jesus Drive?) I only rated this church 3 nails for a few reasons. I did not feel the minister was very receptive to me. I introduced myself as an atheist and the brother of a member. He said it was nice that I came and would like me to come back. I was expecting a little more since I stood before him, a condemned man to hell in his eyes, and he did not want to give me any more of his time. Oh well. His loss not mine. Also, his sermon I felt was somewhat lacking. None the less, I did not witness or observe any events that would suggest Jesus Christ was present, except for the Pastor's ghost-like, pale complexion. May I suggest a little more time under the sun, instead of under the Son. If Jesus does exist in spirit somewhere, he wasn't here this Sunday. I did leave my contact info on a welcome card, but it is too early to get a response.

Minutes:
  • Said a prayer
  • Sang two songs
  • Made announcements: Printer is broke, Softball sign up, volleyball sign up, spoke about Marriage Enrichment Classes (gays, homosexuals need not apply)
  • Passed around basket with money in it
  • Sang another song
  • Sermon about marriage (Ephesians 5:22)  *note to self: if you can't find the passage before the sermon is over, you may go to hell)
  • Said another prayer
  • Went forward with my sister to pastor

My synopsis on sermon

As with most, if not all, sermons, I just had questions popping up in my head and was unable to ask them. The passage (Ephesians 5:22-23) just seemed rather sexist. If I were a woman, I would be rather offended by this passage. Basically it seems that the woman is the mans servant, having to submit to him as a Christian would submit to Christ. Also, the preacher kept speaking of marriage and relationships between a man and a woman. What if someone were gay? How does this church view homosexuals? Not very kindly. And speaking of servants, I just happened to notice the next chapter (Ephesians 6) talked about Slaves/Servants and Masters. I wonder, why do pastors never speak about these passages? Could the preacher make a sermon about slaves, the treatment of slaves, how slaves should be punished, and so on? Why does the Holy Babble not condemn slavery? Instead it says that it's ok to own slaves as long as you treat them properly.

Bottom line, I do not feel you need the Holy Babble to teach you to love your wife. If you are having marriage problems you should seek a professional counselor, not a minister. A marriage counselor can give you in depth advice, analyze the problems and find real solutions. The Holy Babble just says "Husbands, love your wives..." -Ephesians 5:25. If problems were only that easy to fix. Real life problems require real life solutions.


Ephesians 5 (New International Version - UK)
Wives and Husbands
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.
Ephesians 6 (New International Version - UK)
Slaves and Masters
5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.
6 Obey them not only to win their favour when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart.
7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men,
8 because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.
9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favouritism with him.

February 19, 2006  (back to calendar)

Unfortunately, I was extremely sick this Sunday and was unable to make it out. Maybe we'll have a double header next Sunday.


February 26, 2006  (back to calendar)
St Mary's Church Old Pope John Paul II
123 East 13th Street, Cincinnati, OH 45202
(513) 721-2988
Rev. Lawrense Juarez
Parochial Vicar
Most. Rev. Daniel E. Pilarczyk
Archbishop of Cincinnati
His Holiness
Pope Benedict XVI
phone | map 
Website  http://www.oldstmarys.org

All I can say is WOW!! WOW to the absolute beauty of this place.  WOW to the constant and utter confusion I was in. WOW to the way I was treated here. The only thing that stands out is when a fellow named Patrick, who had his 4 sons with him, approached me and told me to leave. This man screamed at the top of his lungs. It was very embarrassing. Below is a letter I wrote to the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Reverend Daniel Pilarczyk and his response.

Intro to the Church Interview with Josh after being thrown out

Letter to Archdiocese Daniel Pilarczyk

March 23, 2006

Archdiocese of Cincinnati

100 East 8th Street

Cincinnati, OH 45202

Dear Reverend Daniel E. Pilarczyk,

I am writing you regarding an incident that happened at Old Saint Mary’s Church on February 26, 2006. I attended the 12:30 mass with a Catholic friend of mine. I myself am not Catholic, however I was interested in learning more about the faith. Being my first time at a Catholic mass, I was a bit confused about all what was going on. My friend that accompanied me explained the different rituals and motions that were going on. Although I did stand when everyone else stood, I did not kneel down, pray, take communion I believe it’s called, or participate in anything. Towards the end of the mass, I was approached by a man named Patrick. All I know about him is that he had four sons with him. He was sitting about 3 rows ahead of me. He and another guy asked me what I was doing here since I obviously was not Catholic. I told him I was curious about the Catholic faith and was here observing. He got extremely offended and rude with me and told me to leave. I asked him if this is how all non-Catholics are treated in ‘his’ church and at that point he literally screamed at the top of his lungs, "Get out!" There were 100-150 people in the church at the time including Bishop Juarez. Everyone got very quite and looked towards us. He, Patrick, yelled 3 or 4 times for me to leave until I stood up and walked out. Anyone who was there that day would definitely remember for his voice filled the entire church.

I was extremely embarrassed and shocked to say the least. I was more upset that Bishop Juarez did not do anything about this matter since it was so blatant. When I exited the church, a young man named Josh approached me and apologized for what happened. He said the way I was treated was not right and that I should file some type of complaint, which is what I am doing now.

I am 32 years old and have been to dozens of churches in my life. Most recently I attended my sister’s church, Amelia Baptist, and felt like family there, even though I am not a very religious man. The members their made me feel welcomed. Not only did I not feel welcomed at Old Saint Mary’s, but I left there very upset and embarrassed. I feel almost like I should apologize for not being Catholic. If I am not welcome at a Catholic church, as Patrick told me, then let me know. But please be aware of the conduct of some of your worshippers. I do not feel it’s fare for a guy like Patrick to come between my personal search for Jesus Christ.

ScoT Singleton


Response from Reverend Daniel E. Pilarczyk


March 26, 2006  (back to calendar)

Cherry Grove United Methodist Church

1428 Eight Mile Rd.
Cincinnati, OH 45255     
Phone: 513-474-1428   Fax: 513-474-2892
http://www.cherrygrove-umc.com/     MAP

Pastor Kurt King

J.C. Power and Disciples' Rating =

Click here for more details on this visit and to find out how to participate in future visits.

On our way Arrived Synopsis
This visit was much more pleasant than our trip to Old Saint Mary's, but very, very boring. We didn't have services in the traditional room with the pews. Instead it was downstairs in a civic center looking room with folding metal chairs. The sheeple there were very friendly. The cars in the parking lot were not expensive (we should know, we carpet bombed the parkin